[ D]reaming under the [ S]tars

Friday, August 26, 2005

"At last! Home sweet home!" I exclaimed when I finally reached home from NUS at 1 PM. I went for the NUS 27th committee Election Ceremony. Initially, I was quite reluctant about going that. I was afraid of all the unfamiliar faces staring at me or that whether I am welcomed or not. However, I feel "delighted" as of now.
I had to meet Li Rong before going there and "oh my goodness", I was late by 20 minutes! At the bus-stop, we saw some one from NUS BS. "Yeah, finally found some one to lead us!" I murmured . While boarding the bus, the bus driver was looking fiercely at every one and managed to caught some one who didn't tap his EZ-Link card. I was thinking, "why he so niao one?". When we thought all is over, our "leader" lost her EZ-Link card! She then alighted at the next stop, walked back to the bus-stop to look for it. "Back to square one, now who is going to lead us there?" I said to myself while I sighed repeatedly.
When we go down the bus, we had a hard time looking for the place. Luckily, some one showed us the map of NUS and managed to pinpoint the area. However, the thing is... "how do we go there?!!" I kept on sighing. Thus, it was like a "wild goose chase" or rather... "wild LT-10 chase".
When we were about to give up, guess what? Some one form NUS BS walked pass us and lead us to the place! "Oh thank godness! Yokata! Hontouni arigatou gozaimsu!" Upon arrival, w were greeted by many friendly people. We then went into the lecture theater and got a sit.
Cindy got elected for the president! Though I only saw her once but never did I expect that she would turn out to be the next chairman. "Congrats to Cindy!" Then, guess what? The election was extremely draggy and I was about to fall alseep.
When it was over, Li Rong and I went to interact with BS members from SP BS and of course, NUS BS members. All I can say that is "NUS BS members rocks man!" They are extremely friendly and ever full of smiles!. Well, then afterwards, we went to a nearby famous Prata shop to have our supper together and the Prata there is "damm yummy" though it costs a bomb ($3 each).
Well, as a few of us were need to rush for the last bus, we bided farewell to them and headed out to the bus-stop. GUESS WHAT??!!! No more last bus! Sob... Left with no choice, we boarded a cab to Jurong East MRT. "Oh my almighty god!!! The last train just left!" I told Li Rong. I sighed even more. When we finally got into a cab...again...., I told Li Rong, "don't be so sad. At least the events were worthed while." However, I kept on thinking "how nice I could ruin a bit faster to stop the train." Upon reaching my home, I bided farewell to Li Rong and requested the taxi driver to send her downstairs of her house.
Back home, I laid flat on my bed. I was virually mentally and physically exhausted. The strange thing is that, I didn't feel that the trip was wasted. To me, all were perfect. I got to know a lot of kind-hearted friends and learnt a lot of things from them. As of now, my eyes are showing signs of extreme fatigueness. "Bah!" Can't take it any more! I need sleep! haha

_just me_
10:40 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Back from school, I sat infront of my piano and started playing my favourite song. Outside, there was a heavy downpour which I could virtually see nothing. I then looked outside of the window. It was the same sight as it was five and a half years ago, that day which in my whole entire life, I will never forget. All of it flashed back across my mind instantaneously.
When I was studying in primary school, I had many friends. We were very close. I still remember the times we ran around the class disturbing the teacher or others. We had totally no respect for the teachers to such that, we can even bring food and eat infront of the teacher or to play card games (Magic cards).
Even after school, we would hang out at the void deck to play soccer or visit each others' house and ransacked their rooms. Even until PSLE was around the corner, our habit remains unchanged.
I still remember at times, we would buy bread from a run-down bakery before going home. The bakery owner, an old man, usually prepares a special hot dog bun with a lot of chille and etc just for us at the price of two dollars. We also used to laugh at the way he talks "ah ah ah... ordog bun, want want?"
Then, on the last day of primary school, after the soccer game at the void deck, there was this heavy downpour. We could almost see nothing. Some how, we managed to run to the bus stop and hopped on the bus. When I was about to alight, I said "okay, lets meet up again some other time!" However, until this day, I have never seen them again.
Every year during Teachers' Day, I would always go back to my primary school. The laughter of the students echoed throughout the school but sadly... not my friends' voices. I never saw them. When I passed by that bakery shop, though the shop remains there, the old man was no where to be seen...neither is the specially made "ordog bun" and tears would run down my cheek.
Then, I would usually go to the nearby temple to offer my respect. However in the temple, there was this silence... as if Buddha is trying to console me. While waiting for the bus to come, I sat at the same bus stop yet, I was the only one there. Some times, I would look around before boarding the bus for that it would be another year's time before I come back again. My tears have dried up but my search for my friends will never end. For that, they will always be my buddy and friends, forever.

_just me_
9:22 AM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Time really flies. It seems just only a few weeks ago when I last celebrated National Day in Bukit View. Some times when I look around, I feel that I have made no contributions to the nation. When I saw people performing during the National Day Parade, I really wished that I can be one of them. How I wished that I had studied hard and excelled in my CCAs but all is too late... or is it not? Ore wa nani mo shiranai.
It is a lonely National Day for me. All I have is my computer and internet to accompany me. How I wished I had more friends. How I wish that I can be like others, hang out with friends, study with friends, talk to friends and have fun with friends but all these seems far-fetched... or is it not? Dareka tasukete.
Then when I look at myself, I see a heart, filled with greed, stupidity, jealousy and anger. At times I really feel helpless. I can't help my friends and people aroudn me when they needed help academically, financially or mentally. I feel so useless yet, I want to contribute some thing to the community, school and society. Ore wa nani mo dekinai.
I am really lost. I am really lonely and sad for that I have lost my smiles; the smiles that I used and yearn to have.

_just me_
1:16 PM